Three weeks ago I had another fall off my bike. Yes, that is right, ANOTHER fall. In the 15 years since I have been cycling, I have fallen about half a dozen times. Four of those falls have been pretty severe:
1. Going over wet train tracks in Milton (2004), which I approached in aero position, and crossed over at a 45 degree angle. Result - fractured clavicle - wore a figure 8 brace over my shoulders, it was winter so I could cycle on the trainer but running was postponed for 3 weeks and swimming for 6 weeks.
2. Training for Ironman (2009), cycling on a country road on a windy day. I was almost back to the car when I got blown over on my bike while in aero position. Front wheel slipped into a tar snake and I flipped over the bike onto the side of the road. Result - waking up on the side of the road waiting for an ambulance to take me to Milton District where they found I had 5 fractured ribs and a concussion - withdrawal from Ironman that year. Season was a wash due to worry of riding on the road due to concussion. Spent the summer riding the trainer and walking a lot. Learned to find enjoyment in other things but could not wait to get back on the bike.
3. Heading out to meet a group for a ride on my new road bike that I was just starting to use for road cycling rather than triathlon (2011). Passed a slower commuter on the road and in doing so I went over some streetcar tracks. While moving back in front of her, I did not turn my wheel at a right angle, it got caught in the tracks and I went down on my neck. Result (worst yet) - fractured C1 and the worst experience at a hospital ever (avoid St Joe's). Had to take 2 months off of work (I am a teacher), sat on the trainer almost all summer while my husband rode with our friends, and a lot of walking, getting to know the City of Toronto.
4. My latest experience occurred while riding to work on a regular weekday morning. Roads were quiet, it was a little misty out but promised to be a beautiful autumn day. I was really looking forward to putting a good day in at work and riding home via Lakeshore Road, making the ride safer and a little longer. I was approaching Dixie Road on Bloor Street, heading west. I was well on the right and a car was passing me in the left-hand lane. That car obviously was not going fast enough for the black pick-up truck that sped past me in the right hand lane, almost clipping me. I breathed a sigh of relief while cursing him (I am assuming it was a guy).
I realized the light up ahead was red and my mind started focusing on the pick up truck and wondering if he was at the light. I did not realize that I was also approaching an area where the asphalt has been graded. I ride and drive this section of road all of the time. It has been under construction for about two years now. Usually, when I ride through here, I stay on the graded section, giving the cars the left lane. I focus on what the asphalt is doing and ride it accordingly. But, on this day, my mind was on the pick up truck up ahead, that almost hit me.
I woke up in an ambulance. Honestly, that can be the scariest thing in the world because you have no idea what happened. But in another sense, at least you don't deal with the fear of the worst thing happening because you are unaware it has even happened. This time the result was another concussion, a bruised rib, and a collapsed lung. I have been off of work for three weeks, am walking all over my neighbourhood, learning all sort of things about acupuncture, and spinning easily on my trainer.
When I had the fall where I fractured my C1 (#3), my G.P. asked me if I was ready to stop cycling, I quickly found myself a new G.P.. It has never really crossed my mind to quit cycling. I understand that when I ride, when anyone rides, it isn't "if" I fall, it is a matter of "when" I fall. Unfortunately, some falls result in some frightening results. But you do what you can. For me, it really has just been, how long am I off the bike? Can I ride the trainer? Ok, here is the plan of action.
This time, I had a family function to go to the weekend after my injury. Two of my aunts, who I adore dearly, asked me if I am going to "finally quit cycling". I asked, "why?" Later that night I asked my husband if I should quit. He gave me the best answer, "Do what you like. Do what is best for you. If you want to quit, quit."
The thing with me and the bike is it has really become a part of my life. Most of my friends ride, a lot of the activities I do are focussed around group rides, destination rides, trips with the bike to Europe and other cycle friendly spots, my husband rides and it is something we share and, as much as we argue on the bike, we love what we do. There is nothing better than racing my way up to the Lake Simcoe coffee shop with Beaches Cycling Club where the winners get first dibs on the Muskoka chairs on the dock. There are always a lot of laughs and stories that help my husband and I survive the winter on the trainer. I love the lifestyle. I love the people that I meet. I love how good I feel when I ride.
So, why would I quit?
Well, it's dangerous. What if you get hit by a car? You can't trust the drivers on the road. Look what happened to so-and-so. You have been lucky, the next time might be worse. And I could go on...I have heard them all...trust me. And, yes, every time I am walking my neighbourhood because I cannot be on my bike, this is what I am contemplating. But then the boys from Wheels Of Bloor whoosh by me, or a lone ranger adds a couple of gears and stands out of the saddle to make the light, and I feel that spark, that desire to get back on.
As a child, I grew up in another saddle, the saddle that is mounted on four legs. I was an equestrian, and a pretty high level equestrian at that. There was never any talk about will I stop riding because I got bucked off, or the horse stopped in front of the jump and I kept going right over it, it was "get right back on the saddle, let's go!" (Now, with all we know about concussions, this might not have been the best thing but it is what we did and I never bowed out, except for the time I almost lost my baby finger but that is another story.)
There is something about cycling, especially here in North America, where people just believe that the bike is too dangerous and should not be on the road. There are so many things people are passionate about: rock climbing and skiing are two such things that can also be quite dangerous but nobody ever asks a skier if they are putting away the skis when they break a leg going down the hill. Or what about as a commuter? If I had made a judgement error and went through a red light causing someone to drive into me ultimately causing severe injuries, no one would ask me if I am going to stop driving. What is it about cycling that makes people feel they have a right to question your passion? Why can't people simply ask me how I am doing, maybe joke around and ask how the bike is and if anything WHEN I will be ready to get back on that saddle again?
Cycling is a part of who I am...and a fall is not going to change that.
